Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
