I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
