I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dignity is for republicans.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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