I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We're facebook friends in real life
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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