So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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