Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I want to make a zoo with you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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