he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dick very happy bro
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
