Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
