we made out on top of his cat.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Green mimosas i think yes
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
