I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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