Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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