well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
