even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
