Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
