I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
