margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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