What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
