Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sober January is a disaster.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
