Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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