Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
