I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
