you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
