margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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