Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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