her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
