dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
someone threw a dead crab at me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
