honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
