i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
