just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
