His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
