it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
