Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
