yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
