Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
