some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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