I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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