the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You ruined the universe
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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