I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
