He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
