Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
