I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
