Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
