I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
