drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
