No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
