just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize