she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize