Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They took my balls.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
