making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
