that's an acceptable place to lick
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
