I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
