in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
