Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
