Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
please don't ironically join a cult
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