Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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