WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The adults are the big ones right?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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