i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
