Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
