Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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