she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
