fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
