I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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