Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
