i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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