Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
