You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
