Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
