I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
