is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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