the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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